I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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