There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
