did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
