How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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