Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize