So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
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