Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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