Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Randomize
