She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
