WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
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