either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
