there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Randomize
