Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
