i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
Randomize