my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
