Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
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