You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
Randomize
