i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
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