the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
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