Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
