And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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