I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
