don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
he just fucked me for my cheese..
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
