worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Randomize
