Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
Randomize
