how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Randomize
