Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
