So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
