She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
