Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Randomize
