So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Randomize
