When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
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