Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
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