the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Randomize
