Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
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