He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
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