Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Randomize
