Your face is a jimmy john
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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