I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
