Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
