You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Mom said you looked used
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
