i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Randomize
