idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
I will pee on everything he values.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
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