New low: just hacked my moms facebook
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
