u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
