Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Randomize