Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
I use my feet as sexual weapons
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
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