Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Randomize
