no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
