omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
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