No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
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