We won't sleep together?
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
