The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
