i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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