dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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