Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
Randomize
