then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
Randomize
