There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
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