Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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