He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
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