Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
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