O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
