it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
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