Rock
Scissors
Fuck
Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
