he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Do vagina's smell?
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
false alarm, still single
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
Randomize
