He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
