Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
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