i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Randomize
