My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize