Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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