Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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