Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Randomize
