I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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